Lawyer Stuff (fwd)

David V. Rogers
Sat, 17 Jan 1998 09:22:02 -0500 (EST)

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 16 Jan 1998 06:54:47 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Lawyer Stuff
Date: 98-01-15 21:53:53 EST

>  A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the
>  stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her
>  and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
>  She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known
>  you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big
>  disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
>  people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a
>  rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
>  amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
>  you."
>  The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across
>  the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
>  She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
>  a youngster, too. I used to babysit him for his parents. And
>  he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he
>  has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship
>  with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the
>  entire state. Yes, I know him."
>  At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called
>  both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with
>  menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail
>  for contempt within 5 minutes!"