joseph at kirtland.com
Fri Nov 23 19:51:09 CST 2007
On Nov 23, 2007, at 5:59 PM, Philip Miller Tate wrote:
> Oh, my goodness - you mean, we're all at risk of "global
> brightening"? Will it help if I paint my house with fluorescent paint
> and fill it with black lights?
You might have to partake of certain substances to obtain the ultimate
benefit of black dark suckers. Florescent paints and Jimmy Hendrix
posters contain an abnormal amount of darkness in their pigments, that
come brilliantly alive under the qualities of an ultraviolet dark
sucker. Uranium glass dishes would also make your meals come alive.
Advise grandma not to wear her wig under such conditions. The true
colours revealed are not flattering.
> I have noticed that light bulbs suck in darkness, then go 'ping', and
> then don't suck in the darkness any more.
I forgot to mention that the typical dark sucker has a limited
lifespan, and can hold only a finite amount of darkness. You usually
get what you pay for, and modern technology has greatly increased the
amount of darkness a bulb can hold. You will notice that the
Edison / Swan bulbs seem to have one instantaneous moment of intense
brilliance before going dark. This is the last effort of the bulb to
suck in the maximum amount of darkness for a brief fraction of a
second. CFLs on the other hand, due to some unexplained behaviour,
start off slowly in their ability to suck the darkness, and gradually
increase up to their maximum rating within a few minutes. They
struggle at the end of their lives, trying to maintain an even amount
of darkness suction. This behaviour is quite annoying, not to mention
some florescent dark suckers also raise havoc in the radio spectrum.
Their bandwidth expands beyond darkness, it seems.
> I have also notice that, in
> many respects, existence often sucks in general. Maybe we can save
> the planet - and the universe - by walking around with our eyes
> closed. It's gotta be worth trying it for a few days.
Yes, with some people, many of the world's problems cease to exist
with one's eyes closed. I'm acquainted with a few people that have
even developed this skill with their eyes open. I haven't yet
mastered this task, however. I close my eyes and the problems don't
OK, back to reality for a moment. While I was an electronics
instructor in the Navy, a few of us teachers actually could convince
some of the new students that a light bulb sucked darkness rather than
emit light. It began with the black coating that usually shows on
clear glass bulbs after they burn out. Yep, that's not a carbon
deposit from the filament - that bulb sucked in all the darkness it
could hold. Of course we had to apologise and let them in on the joke
- after a time.
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